***DISCLAIMER FOR MY OMNIVOROUS FRIENDS*** Things are going to get a little descriptive. You've been warned. If I gross you out, it's not my fault!
I've decided that I'm making the transition to vegetarianism and quite possibly to veganism. You probably have two questions:
1. What's the difference?
and
2. Why?!?!?!?!?!?
The first one is pretty simple to answer. Vegetarians do not eat meat or animal flesh of any kind. No chicken, pork, beef, fish, etc. But they will eat animal products like milk, eggs and cheese. Vegans don't eat any animal products at all. That includes honey. (There are full websites dedicated to the mistreatment of honeybees. I started reading them with a chuckle but after awhile the smile left my face. It truly is horrible what happens to those poor little bees.)
The second one is a little more difficult to answer. It's hard to explain all of my reasons, but I'll try.
I first want to say that I in no way am trying to change the minds of any of my friends. You all can eat whatever you want and I won't judge. What I'm going to say here applies only to me.
I've never loved meat. Even as a child it was torture to eat it. I learned to eat it as an adult because that is part of eating a well-balanced diet. (At least, that's what I've been told.)
In the last year it's been harder and harder for me to stomach eating meat. I literally can't swallow it sometimes. And, yes, it's because I can't stop thinking about the poor little innocent animals that I'm eating. It grosses me out.
It suddenly dawned on me that I don't have to eat anything that I don't want to. I'm a grown woman and I'm in complete control of my body and my diet. So, I bought a vegan cookbook to see what it's all about. (I haven't made anything out of it yet, but just reading the recipes has me excited.)
I'm going to start slow. VERY slow. Changes like this are huge. The only way to do it, in my opinion, is to start off slow. Otherwise I'm setting myself up for failure.
This week I'm cutting red meat and pork out of my diet. That won't be too hard since I don't eat much of it anyway. I'll keep that up for 2 weeks and then work on cutting out poultry. I'm going to give myself 3 weeks for that.
After that, I'll decide how far I want to go into the vegan diet. There are some things that are really hard for me to get past. Like the fact that cane sugar is whitened with bone char. That means that they take charcoal from the bones of cows and use it to filter the sugar and make it white. (There are other sugars that don't use this process that you can bet your bottom I'll be buying from now on. But, I have to worry about what I'm eating outside of my house.) That's just one example of something I can't stomach anymore. For another example, read THIS LINK about Jello.
However, things like cheese and milk are less of a problem for me. I can't explain it. So, needless to say, I'm still deciding what I will/won't be cutting from my diet after The Great Poultry Purge.
I don't have any intention of forcing my family to take on this diet/lifestyle. Roy and I have discussed it and, from now on, the meat that we do buy for him and the kids to eat will be organic. As will all of our dairy products. The kids and Roy can eat whatever they choose (as long as it's healthy!) and I'll make sure that our meals are well-balanced.
It's going to be quite the adventure, that's for sure.
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, July 30, 2010
Confidence is Key
As I mentioned last weekend, Monday was Day One of my "Fresh Start In Life".
I discovered (again) that it's much easier to give yourself a pep talk and describe exactly what you plan on doing than to get up and do it.
I got ready in the morning with butterflies tickling my insides. That's pretty normal (or so I hear) for anyone to feel on their first day of a new job. I dropped the kids off at daycare and made my way down the freeway to what is going to be my second home for a very long time. As I pulled into the campus and made my way around the building to the parking lot the nervousness starts to creep up from my belly and lodge in my throat.
I'm not going to lie. I sat in my car and seriously contemplated calling my old boss and begging her to give me my job back. Anyone who knows me (and my boss) knows that I'm way to proud for that, but I entertained the idea for a minute or so. After about 10 minutes of Facebooking (yes, it's a verb), e-mailing, and texting I told myself I would count to three and by the time I got to three I would be out of the truck walking into the building. I even mentally separated the steps:
One. Phone in purse. Lip gloss checked. Turn off ignition.
Two. Seat belt off. Door Open. Feet on ground.
Three. Lock doors. Walk. Keep walking. Breathe.
As I walked into the building a feeling of semi-familiarity came over me. I'd done three interviews here and, when the security guard sent me to the same waiting area I had been sent to before I couldn't help but think, "I got this." And then I opened the door.
Previously, I had been the only one in the a fore-mentioned waiting area. When I walked in there were 3 men waiting in there and another woman was close on my heels. As I checked in, more and more people came in. The room was filling up fast. (I would come to find out, there were over 25 people in there.) As I sat there I became more and more nervous.
Smile, Amanda. Smile, damn it.
People (Roy) tell me that I have a tendency to give people dirty looks without realizing it. Usually it's because I'm lost in thought and, apparently, my "thinking face" is also my "pissed off" face and my "don't talk to me because I'll chew your face off" face. Nice.
I also have the idea that I'm dull and irritating burned into my brain and I can't shake it. When I meet someone I immediately start thinking of all the things I said or did that would make her not like me and so I convince myself that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Because of that I don't make the effort to talk to her, either, so she probably feels snubbed. If it weren't for my silly over thinking things would probably turn out great more often than not.
Anyway, as I sat there willing myself to smile at nothing in particular (because there was no way on earth I was making eye contact with strangers) I stopped worrying about myself long enough to realize that everyone else seemed just as nervous as me. That made me feel so much better.
I took a deep breath, counted to three and introduced myself to the girl next to me. Hmmm. That wasn't hard at all. Another girl took the seat in between us and I introduced myself to her, too. Go, me! Two out of two!
Let me back track for a moment and explain something about myself to you: I judge people. I know, it's terrible. For example, women who let their kids run around the store screaming? Bad moms. Pacifiers at 3? Bad mom. Pretty women who dress nice? Snotty. Women with designer handbags? Rich snobs. Logically, I know that those are terrible generalizations that are almost never true. But I can't help it.
However, I promised myself I wasn't going to judge anyone at this new job. Everyone got the benefit of the doubt from Amanda. It's something I'm trying to do more of in all aspects of my life, but let's be realistic. I need to start small. So, for now, work it is.
You may be wondering why I told you that. Well, remember when I sat down in the waiting area? Two girls walked in and I immediately pegged them as being stuck up, rude and not worth my time. I caught myself and pushed that thought to the back of my mind. I stayed true to my plan of not judging anyone.
They both turned out to be pretty awesome and not stuck up at all.
Day one was awkward because no one wanted to really open up to a room full of strangers but, after day five, we all get along pretty well.
I'm pretty proud of myself. Here's to next week!
I discovered (again) that it's much easier to give yourself a pep talk and describe exactly what you plan on doing than to get up and do it.
I got ready in the morning with butterflies tickling my insides. That's pretty normal (or so I hear) for anyone to feel on their first day of a new job. I dropped the kids off at daycare and made my way down the freeway to what is going to be my second home for a very long time. As I pulled into the campus and made my way around the building to the parking lot the nervousness starts to creep up from my belly and lodge in my throat.
I'm not going to lie. I sat in my car and seriously contemplated calling my old boss and begging her to give me my job back. Anyone who knows me (and my boss) knows that I'm way to proud for that, but I entertained the idea for a minute or so. After about 10 minutes of Facebooking (yes, it's a verb), e-mailing, and texting I told myself I would count to three and by the time I got to three I would be out of the truck walking into the building. I even mentally separated the steps:
One. Phone in purse. Lip gloss checked. Turn off ignition.
Two. Seat belt off. Door Open. Feet on ground.
Three. Lock doors. Walk. Keep walking. Breathe.
As I walked into the building a feeling of semi-familiarity came over me. I'd done three interviews here and, when the security guard sent me to the same waiting area I had been sent to before I couldn't help but think, "I got this." And then I opened the door.
Previously, I had been the only one in the a fore-mentioned waiting area. When I walked in there were 3 men waiting in there and another woman was close on my heels. As I checked in, more and more people came in. The room was filling up fast. (I would come to find out, there were over 25 people in there.) As I sat there I became more and more nervous.
Smile, Amanda. Smile, damn it.
People (Roy) tell me that I have a tendency to give people dirty looks without realizing it. Usually it's because I'm lost in thought and, apparently, my "thinking face" is also my "pissed off" face and my "don't talk to me because I'll chew your face off" face. Nice.
I also have the idea that I'm dull and irritating burned into my brain and I can't shake it. When I meet someone I immediately start thinking of all the things I said or did that would make her not like me and so I convince myself that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Because of that I don't make the effort to talk to her, either, so she probably feels snubbed. If it weren't for my silly over thinking things would probably turn out great more often than not.
Anyway, as I sat there willing myself to smile at nothing in particular (because there was no way on earth I was making eye contact with strangers) I stopped worrying about myself long enough to realize that everyone else seemed just as nervous as me. That made me feel so much better.
I took a deep breath, counted to three and introduced myself to the girl next to me. Hmmm. That wasn't hard at all. Another girl took the seat in between us and I introduced myself to her, too. Go, me! Two out of two!
Let me back track for a moment and explain something about myself to you: I judge people. I know, it's terrible. For example, women who let their kids run around the store screaming? Bad moms. Pacifiers at 3? Bad mom. Pretty women who dress nice? Snotty. Women with designer handbags? Rich snobs. Logically, I know that those are terrible generalizations that are almost never true. But I can't help it.
However, I promised myself I wasn't going to judge anyone at this new job. Everyone got the benefit of the doubt from Amanda. It's something I'm trying to do more of in all aspects of my life, but let's be realistic. I need to start small. So, for now, work it is.
You may be wondering why I told you that. Well, remember when I sat down in the waiting area? Two girls walked in and I immediately pegged them as being stuck up, rude and not worth my time. I caught myself and pushed that thought to the back of my mind. I stayed true to my plan of not judging anyone.
They both turned out to be pretty awesome and not stuck up at all.
Day one was awkward because no one wanted to really open up to a room full of strangers but, after day five, we all get along pretty well.
I'm pretty proud of myself. Here's to next week!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
A Fresh Start
I have an irrational fear of meeting new people. And I've had it for as long as I can remember.
I remember being in Kindergarten and my mom asking me if I wanted her to drive me to school on the first day. I remember telling her no and marching my happy little 5 year old self out the front door and down the driveway. I walked to the end of the street and rounded the corner. There, at the bus stop, were about 15 kids. Big kids. Sixth graders. I stopped dead in my tracks and stood there for what felt like a 10 second eternity and then sprinted back to the house and told my mom that I changed my mind: I wanted an escort.
Seventh grade was similar. I had moved across country that summer and was starting a new school in a new state and had yet to make any friends. My mom helped me find my homeroom before school started and I made her stand there with me until class started because I was afraid of the other kids. I'm not sure what I thought they were going to do, but I was shaking.
I never went to parties in high school because they were outside my comfort zone. I never went to any dances (except Junior prom) for the same reason.
Even after high school, parties made me feel self conscious and awkward. The idea of going to college and living in a dorm terrified me, so I didn't go.
I was afraid to go to a bar when I turned 21 because I had (obviously) never been to one and I had no idea how to act there.
Of course, in all of the above situations, once I crossed the starting line I realized that things weren't nearly as bad as I had made them out to be in my head and everything always proceeded smoothly from that point on.
It isn't normal. Some people feel awkward in new situations, but this paralyzing fear isn't experienced by many people. Head shrinkers call it "social anxiety." Call it whatever you want, it makes it very difficult to function at times, especially when you're stubborn enough to refuse medication because the medication makes you feel numb.
Things have gotten a lot better over the last year. Roy has helped me to become comfortable in my own skin and helped me realize that people like me. I'm a genuinely nice person and I'm smart. (Hear that? It's my horn tooting itself.) I know that I don't give myself credit where credit is due.
I'm getting better at meeting new people and experiencing new situations without any anxiety leading up to the event and, in some cases, I've found myself getting excited!
Tomorrow I start a new job and I can already feel some of the old anxiety creeping back.
I left my old company on Friday after 5 and a half years. In those 5 and a half years, my job was my rock. I started when I was barely 19 years old. That job has seen me have a baby, go through a terribly emotional marriage, get divorced, go through an emotional healing process, and (in the last year) fall in love, get married, have another baby and finally find true happiness.
The last year of my life has been the most peaceful since graduating high school. There were times, prior to that, when I literally felt as if a hurricane and come sweeping through my life and nothing was as it had been the day before. I would walk into work and instantly forget everything. It was 8 hours of emotion free bliss. When I could count on nothing else, I could count on the reassuring repetition that waited for me everyday after I clocked in.
I gave up that reassurance on Friday. It's time to leave that all behind. All the bad memories that I supressed while I worked all those years. All the days I came to work and had to be the best because it was the only place that I felt appreciated. It's time to move on.
Tomorrow I walk into a new building for the first time. In the book that is my life, the prologue has come to a close. It's time to start Chapter One. A clean slate that hasn't been scarred by my past. A blank page waiting to be written on.
But, I can't help the anxiety. It's there. And it's worse than ever because I haven't felt it for so long. However, I have a new strategy. Tomorrow I am determined to not suppress these thoughts and feelings. I am determined to embrace them and push through them.
Determined to talk to people and make the first attempt at friendship. Determined to show who I am and what I'm made of.
This is me.
And I'm scared.
I remember being in Kindergarten and my mom asking me if I wanted her to drive me to school on the first day. I remember telling her no and marching my happy little 5 year old self out the front door and down the driveway. I walked to the end of the street and rounded the corner. There, at the bus stop, were about 15 kids. Big kids. Sixth graders. I stopped dead in my tracks and stood there for what felt like a 10 second eternity and then sprinted back to the house and told my mom that I changed my mind: I wanted an escort.
Seventh grade was similar. I had moved across country that summer and was starting a new school in a new state and had yet to make any friends. My mom helped me find my homeroom before school started and I made her stand there with me until class started because I was afraid of the other kids. I'm not sure what I thought they were going to do, but I was shaking.
I never went to parties in high school because they were outside my comfort zone. I never went to any dances (except Junior prom) for the same reason.
Even after high school, parties made me feel self conscious and awkward. The idea of going to college and living in a dorm terrified me, so I didn't go.
I was afraid to go to a bar when I turned 21 because I had (obviously) never been to one and I had no idea how to act there.
Of course, in all of the above situations, once I crossed the starting line I realized that things weren't nearly as bad as I had made them out to be in my head and everything always proceeded smoothly from that point on.
It isn't normal. Some people feel awkward in new situations, but this paralyzing fear isn't experienced by many people. Head shrinkers call it "social anxiety." Call it whatever you want, it makes it very difficult to function at times, especially when you're stubborn enough to refuse medication because the medication makes you feel numb.
Things have gotten a lot better over the last year. Roy has helped me to become comfortable in my own skin and helped me realize that people like me. I'm a genuinely nice person and I'm smart. (Hear that? It's my horn tooting itself.) I know that I don't give myself credit where credit is due.
I'm getting better at meeting new people and experiencing new situations without any anxiety leading up to the event and, in some cases, I've found myself getting excited!
Tomorrow I start a new job and I can already feel some of the old anxiety creeping back.
I left my old company on Friday after 5 and a half years. In those 5 and a half years, my job was my rock. I started when I was barely 19 years old. That job has seen me have a baby, go through a terribly emotional marriage, get divorced, go through an emotional healing process, and (in the last year) fall in love, get married, have another baby and finally find true happiness.
The last year of my life has been the most peaceful since graduating high school. There were times, prior to that, when I literally felt as if a hurricane and come sweeping through my life and nothing was as it had been the day before. I would walk into work and instantly forget everything. It was 8 hours of emotion free bliss. When I could count on nothing else, I could count on the reassuring repetition that waited for me everyday after I clocked in.
I gave up that reassurance on Friday. It's time to leave that all behind. All the bad memories that I supressed while I worked all those years. All the days I came to work and had to be the best because it was the only place that I felt appreciated. It's time to move on.
Tomorrow I walk into a new building for the first time. In the book that is my life, the prologue has come to a close. It's time to start Chapter One. A clean slate that hasn't been scarred by my past. A blank page waiting to be written on.
But, I can't help the anxiety. It's there. And it's worse than ever because I haven't felt it for so long. However, I have a new strategy. Tomorrow I am determined to not suppress these thoughts and feelings. I am determined to embrace them and push through them.
Determined to talk to people and make the first attempt at friendship. Determined to show who I am and what I'm made of.
This is me.
And I'm scared.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Thankful Thursday
I've seen this on a few other blogs. I think it would get a little redundant to do it every week, but once in awhile can't hurt. Most people only make a list of the things they are thankful for at Thanksgiving, if they do it at all.
That is an excellent idea, but I think it puts you in an optomistic mindset if you remind yourself regularly that there are awesome things in your life. It's easy to let the stressful things overwhelm you, and we all need a gentle reminder that life isn't as bad as it could be.
When asked what they are thankful for, most people have a standard list: my kids, my husband, my family, my friends, my house...you get the point. I urge you to delve beyond that generic list and sit down once every month or so and make a list of two or three "extra" things that make life just a little bit better. They can be related to the things listed above, but try and be specific.
This is my (current) list:
1. In-laws that wouldn't dream of treating Nathan differently than Lily
Roy's parents didn't have any grandkids when we met. Nathan was the first and he was spoiled rotten from the second they met him. When they found out that we were pregnant with a little girl I thought his mom was going to die from excitement. I'll be honest: I was a little worried that Nathan would be forgotten once Lily was born. After all, he's not a blood relation. His parents came into town three days after Lily was born and any concerns I had went right out the window. Lily, being three days old, slept all day. Nathan was outside playing, riding bikes, going for walks, at the grocery store...you name it, he was with them. It was the same when they came for Lily's baptism and when we went to visit them last weekend. They love him so much and I have no idea how to explain to them how much that means to me.
2. Music
Not just any music. The kind of music that makes you crank up the radio, roll down the windows, and belt out the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Because, for those 3 and a half minutes, the car payment isn't due, the kids aren't sick, there aren't a million things on your "To Do" list . . . you can forget about the drama that is your life and just let the music swallow you up.
3. Tony, the Target Pharmacist
So, aside from being really cute he's also extremely helpful. Whether I have questions about prescriptions, over-the-counter drugs, infant medications, First-Aid or if Nate should still be taking toddler vitamins or "big kid" vitamins he answers them all. Did I mention he's really cute?
Share
That is an excellent idea, but I think it puts you in an optomistic mindset if you remind yourself regularly that there are awesome things in your life. It's easy to let the stressful things overwhelm you, and we all need a gentle reminder that life isn't as bad as it could be.
When asked what they are thankful for, most people have a standard list: my kids, my husband, my family, my friends, my house...you get the point. I urge you to delve beyond that generic list and sit down once every month or so and make a list of two or three "extra" things that make life just a little bit better. They can be related to the things listed above, but try and be specific.
This is my (current) list:
1. In-laws that wouldn't dream of treating Nathan differently than Lily
Roy's parents didn't have any grandkids when we met. Nathan was the first and he was spoiled rotten from the second they met him. When they found out that we were pregnant with a little girl I thought his mom was going to die from excitement. I'll be honest: I was a little worried that Nathan would be forgotten once Lily was born. After all, he's not a blood relation. His parents came into town three days after Lily was born and any concerns I had went right out the window. Lily, being three days old, slept all day. Nathan was outside playing, riding bikes, going for walks, at the grocery store...you name it, he was with them. It was the same when they came for Lily's baptism and when we went to visit them last weekend. They love him so much and I have no idea how to explain to them how much that means to me.
2. Music
Not just any music. The kind of music that makes you crank up the radio, roll down the windows, and belt out the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Because, for those 3 and a half minutes, the car payment isn't due, the kids aren't sick, there aren't a million things on your "To Do" list . . . you can forget about the drama that is your life and just let the music swallow you up.
3. Tony, the Target Pharmacist
So, aside from being really cute he's also extremely helpful. Whether I have questions about prescriptions, over-the-counter drugs, infant medications, First-Aid or if Nate should still be taking toddler vitamins or "big kid" vitamins he answers them all. Did I mention he's really cute?
Share
Sunday, April 18, 2010
101 in 1001
The trend recently has been to create a bucket list. Basically, you make a list of all things that you want to do before you die (a.k.a. "kick the bucket") and as you complete those things you cross them off of your list.
Another trend that I find slightly less morbid is to make a "101 in 1001" list. That is, 101 things that you'd like to accomplish within the next 1001 days. That's approximately two and a half years, so there is plenty of time to accomplish a lot of things!
I finished my list and I intend to keep up on it.
You can view it HERE. I also hope to add a tab to my blog so it will be listed here, too.
Readers, I encourage you to also make a list. I found it inspiring!
Share
Another trend that I find slightly less morbid is to make a "101 in 1001" list. That is, 101 things that you'd like to accomplish within the next 1001 days. That's approximately two and a half years, so there is plenty of time to accomplish a lot of things!
I finished my list and I intend to keep up on it.
You can view it HERE. I also hope to add a tab to my blog so it will be listed here, too.
Readers, I encourage you to also make a list. I found it inspiring!
Share
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Why Mommy Talks to Strangers
February 2007: A young mother (20 years old) is standing in the checkout line early in the morning at Target waiting to buy a can of formula for her five week old baby boy. The only cashier is doing a price check and the baby has decided that he is hungry. Now. He's screaming. The diaper bag is in the car, but it wouldn't matter if it wasn't, because she is completely out of formula. She needs this can to feed him. Money is tight and she managed to stretch the last can until payday, but he only had enough for half of a bottle this morning.
What is taking so long for this price check, anyway? She's trying everything she can to comfort him. Rocking him. Bouncing him. Shushing him. Forget the fact that everyone is staring at this screaming baby, her son is hungry and she can't do anything to help him feel better and it's breaking her heart.
A woman behind her in line gently taps her on the shoulder and, sensing the young mother's desperation, gives her this gem of advice: "Lay him on his tummy in your arms and swing him from side to side. It'll help hold him off until you can get out of here."
Willing to try anything, she rolls him over in her arms and starts swinging. He calms down almost immediately. Five weeks of sleepless nights, fussy days, dirty diapers, overdrawn bank accounts and now this. An overwhelming sense of gratitude hits her all at once and she is overcome with emotion. Turning to the woman with tears in her eyes, the young mother is speechless. The woman simply smiles and says, "I have five of my own. They're grown now, but that was my favorite trick."
I've always been a nice person, but I never truly appreciated the impact that kind words or selfless gestures can have on the recipient until that day. I never saw that woman again, but I will never forget what she did for me.
I now make a point to be a little friendlier. It's great to be nice, but even better to be truly friendly.
Example #1: The woman behind me in line at the grocery store the other day had on killer heels. And I mean killer heels. They were super sexy, but were not meant to be worn while wandering the aisles at the grocery store. I had a huge cart full of groceries. She had some French bread, some milk and a few other smaller items, so I said to her, "You're feet look like they're killing you. Why don't you go ahead of me?"
Example #2: I was leaving the post office last week carrying Lily in her carseat and holding Nathan's hand when a woman who had stepped out a few minutes before me dropped a huge stack of envelopes. She wasn't elderly or handicapped and I'm sure that she could have managed to pick them up on her own, but why? So I stopped and helped her. The best part? Nathan helped, too. That one was a two-for: I helped someone and taught Nathan a life lesson all at once.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn about what a wonderful person I think I am, although I'm sure it could be seen that way. Trust me, I have my weaknesses. I get very frustrated with people sometimes. Especially people who don't know how to drive . . . but that's a blog post for another day.
I'm just trying to illustrate how easy it is to make a difference in someone's day.
One of my favorite quotes: "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo F. Buscaglia.
It's so true.
Why have we become a society that is afraid to be kind to one another? Whatever way you slice it and regardless of your religious beliefs, we're in this together.
I am making it my personal mission to restore a sense of brotherhood to all those I come in contact with. Will you join me?
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What is taking so long for this price check, anyway? She's trying everything she can to comfort him. Rocking him. Bouncing him. Shushing him. Forget the fact that everyone is staring at this screaming baby, her son is hungry and she can't do anything to help him feel better and it's breaking her heart.
A woman behind her in line gently taps her on the shoulder and, sensing the young mother's desperation, gives her this gem of advice: "Lay him on his tummy in your arms and swing him from side to side. It'll help hold him off until you can get out of here."
Willing to try anything, she rolls him over in her arms and starts swinging. He calms down almost immediately. Five weeks of sleepless nights, fussy days, dirty diapers, overdrawn bank accounts and now this. An overwhelming sense of gratitude hits her all at once and she is overcome with emotion. Turning to the woman with tears in her eyes, the young mother is speechless. The woman simply smiles and says, "I have five of my own. They're grown now, but that was my favorite trick."
I've always been a nice person, but I never truly appreciated the impact that kind words or selfless gestures can have on the recipient until that day. I never saw that woman again, but I will never forget what she did for me.
I now make a point to be a little friendlier. It's great to be nice, but even better to be truly friendly.
Example #1: The woman behind me in line at the grocery store the other day had on killer heels. And I mean killer heels. They were super sexy, but were not meant to be worn while wandering the aisles at the grocery store. I had a huge cart full of groceries. She had some French bread, some milk and a few other smaller items, so I said to her, "You're feet look like they're killing you. Why don't you go ahead of me?"
Example #2: I was leaving the post office last week carrying Lily in her carseat and holding Nathan's hand when a woman who had stepped out a few minutes before me dropped a huge stack of envelopes. She wasn't elderly or handicapped and I'm sure that she could have managed to pick them up on her own, but why? So I stopped and helped her. The best part? Nathan helped, too. That one was a two-for: I helped someone and taught Nathan a life lesson all at once.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn about what a wonderful person I think I am, although I'm sure it could be seen that way. Trust me, I have my weaknesses. I get very frustrated with people sometimes. Especially people who don't know how to drive . . . but that's a blog post for another day.
I'm just trying to illustrate how easy it is to make a difference in someone's day.
One of my favorite quotes: "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo F. Buscaglia.
It's so true.
Why have we become a society that is afraid to be kind to one another? Whatever way you slice it and regardless of your religious beliefs, we're in this together.
I am making it my personal mission to restore a sense of brotherhood to all those I come in contact with. Will you join me?
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Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Keeping It Clean
Women (and a few men) know that it is no easy feat to keep a house clean. The level of difficulty increases exponentially with each child and pet you add to the mix. You have to come to terms with the fact that your house is never going to look like it belongs in a magazine because you actually live in it.
Clutter happens.
The mirror you have on your coffee table is going to have fingerprints on it 90% of the time. Said coffee table will also have rings from sippy cups and bottles. The magazines stacked oh-so-nicely underneath will be scattered by someone trying to add his favorite books to the pile. The baby wipes will find a permanent home there as well because, to be honest, the living room is where all the diaper changes happen.
I give you Exhibit A:
Clutter happens.
The mirror you have on your coffee table is going to have fingerprints on it 90% of the time. Said coffee table will also have rings from sippy cups and bottles. The magazines stacked oh-so-nicely underneath will be scattered by someone trying to add his favorite books to the pile. The baby wipes will find a permanent home there as well because, to be honest, the living room is where all the diaper changes happen.
I give you Exhibit A:
I can shamelessly post this picture because I know that there are plenty of homes out there that look very similar to mine. But, clutter is tolerable. Dirt, not so much. (And, no, I don't consider fingerprints and water rings "dirt".)
We have a few simple rules that everyone in the house must live by:
1. No shoes in the house. My husband thought this was a silly rule until we tried it for one week and then I had him sweep the entire house. He was shocked at how clean the floors stayed when the shoes were left at the door.
(Most of you in Canada or on the eastern coast of the United States will be shocked to know that, here in the Valley of the Sun it is not common practice to remove your shoes when entering someone's home. I can only assume it is because it doesn't snow here or rain often so native Phoenicians never saw the need. Therefore, I feel uncomfortable enforcing this rule when we have guests. I just make sure to sweep after they leave.)
2. When you're done with it, put it away. This includes dishes to the dishwasher (or at least in the sink) and clothes in the hamper. No stray socks or cups need to be left around.
3. The house gets a nightly pick-up. As everyone in my household (myself included) is human and nowhere near perfect, there are times when Rule #2 isn't followed as strictly as it might be. So, every night we go through the house together and pick up all the toys, bring any cups to the kitchen and just generally neaten up. There is nothing better than waking up in the morning to a (mostly) clutter-free house.
Those three rules tend to keep the house as neat as possible. But, you ask, what about the actual cleaning?
I give you Exhibit B:
(Try clicking on the image to view it larger)
I made this for myself to try and stay on top of the cleaning. To be more specific, I made this for myself last August. I am not embarrassed to admit that I didn't start putting it into practice until I was on maternity leave.
In February.
My original plan was to come home from work, start dinner, and do the chores on the list for that day. Instead, I would come home and convince myself that I was too exhausted and that I would rather relax after work and then do the cleaning on the weekend.
Boy, was I wrong. Having kept up on it the past few weeks, I have been able to truly enjoy my weekends with my husband and kids as opposed to sending them outside to have fun while I clean the house.
I am pretty proud of this schedule. It's very organized well thought out. Even when bi-weekly and monthly chores are added, they go hand in hand with the chores already scheduled on that day so it doesn't feel like there are many extra steps at all. Feel free to copy it if you think it will help you!
There are a few reasons why I enjoy this chart:
1. I am a lover of lists. They keep things nice and organized. A chart like this one is just a list that is spread out over the course of a week.
2. I never feel overwhelmed. I know that I only have a few things to do every day and then I'm finished. I don't feel guilty if I don't pull out the canisters and the microwave to clean behind them each night after dinner because I know it will get done every Friday when I do a deep cleaning in my kitchen.
3. It's flexible. If, for example, I have a day filled with doctor's appointments or we are going to spend an entire Saturday at the zoo, I can easily take the chores from that day and spread them out between the day before and the day after
Yes, I know there are only 24 hours in a day, but each day I spend about 30 minutes getting it done. I prefer (now that I am on maternity leave) to get it done first thing in the morning. That way I don't have to think about it for the rest of the day. But, those 30 minutes could easily be used any other time during the day. Right before you get in the shower for the night, or right before your favorite television show comes on. (At least you would have an incentive to get it done by a certain time!)
When I go back to work in May, mornings will be hectic around here and I will have to find a different time of day to get it done. I'm thinking I'll use the time that Roy is giving the kids a bath and getting them ready for bed. That way we'll be ready to tuck the kids in together and we can both enjoy our evening after all is said and done.
Granted, the chart isn't perfect, and it may need some tweaking as time goes on. For example, once Lily is mobile the floors will need swept every day. And I doubt I'll be able to go a week between mopping once she's feeding herself and most of it ends up on the floor. But, it's a place to start and it's keeping my family and me sane.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Closer Than Yesterday
Today started out like any other Wednesday.
I was gently nudged awake by the sudden sound of a screaming baby on the other end of the monitor. I stumbled my way down the hall and into her room. As soon as I walked in she calmed down (slightly) and the wails turned into the whimpers of someone with an incredibly soggy rear end. Scooping her up in one arm and grabbing a diaper with my free hand we blindly made our way to the kitchen. I made a bottle and we settled in on the couch. A quick diaper change and she was more than ready to eat.
As she gulped away at her bottle I reached over to my laptop and brought up my Facebook page to see what was going on. The first thing I noticed on my page was a posting from Weight Watchers. The Weight Watchers page on Facebook frequently posts ideas, recipes and inspiration to help keep followers motivated. This morning, the post referenced the following quote:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”—Unknown.
I could easily see how this quote would help inspire me to reach my weight loss goals. But, as I watched Lily look up at me with wide eyes and milk dribbling off her chin, I realized that it meant so much more to me than mere weight loss. I have a family that depends on me and when I get discouraged I do them all a huge disservice. I held her to my shoulder and patted her back to work out a burp and mentally ticked off my "To Do" list.
1. Buy a home
We are currently renting our home right now but the owners want to sell and we want to buy. What are we waiting for? A few things. Roy works on commission. While he's been with his company for almost 5 years he has only been on this pay scale since July 2008. The only way to get approved for a mortgage is if he is able to show 2 years worth of pay stubs proving that his commission is stable. My income would be beyond helpful in our quest for home ownership, but a lack of much credit to begin with and an ugly divorce means my credit is in the crapper.
We're also trying to pay down any debt that Roy has in order to make his debt to income ratio as low as possible, and it's a slow process. But now? Every time we make a payment I’ll think:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
2. Fix My Credit
This is actually tied very closely to #1. If we can manage to buy our house our monthly payment will drop between $400 and $500. With that amount of money freed up every month we will have that much more to put towards paying down the rest of Roy's debt and paying off all of mine. After that, the plan is to get a small credit card in my name and make purchases and pay them off to build by credit back up. We can't start working on #2 until #1 is complete so, in the meantime, I'm focusing on saving where I can to make as many payments as possible.
I love to shop. And a good sale is hard for me to pass up. But now? When I walk past the clearance racks I can chant my mantra:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
3. Graduate College
I am slowly but surely working my way towards an Associate's in Business Management. The process is painful. I can only manage 2 classes at a time because there just aren't enough hours in the day. Because of the class structure at my college I am able to take 4 classes a semester (full time status) but only take 2 classes at a time.
Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel because life is so much easier when I don't have classes and homework to worry about. But now? Each time I turn in an assignment my own personal theme song will ring in my ears:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
4. Lose Weight and Live Healthier
This is obviously what Weight Watchers was hoping to inspire with their quote. Anyone familiar with Weight Watchers will know that they tell you to aim to lose no more than one or two pounds a week. This shows that you are losing weight the correct way and making the appropriate life changes. While it makes sense logically, it's not what you want to hear when you have weight to lose. Especially when we all know that you will not lose that one or two pounds every week and you may even gain weight some weeks. I have 37 pounds left to lose. Knowing that it will take (at the minimum) four and a half months to lose it is frustrating, to say the least. (I'll be skinny just in time for swimsuit season to be over. Great.)
It's hard to make the right choices everyday but I try to make little changes where I can. It's easy to drive around the parking lot at the grocery store until I find a closer spot. But now? As I park in the last row, grasp Nathan's hand, and lug Lily in her infant carrier (25 pounds, all together) up to the door I will tell myself:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
I looked down and realized that Lily had fallen back asleep. Feeling motivated and ready to enjoy an early morning cup of coffee in peace, I had just laid her down when I heard Nathan shuffle his way down the hall to the kitchen. I'll admit, I was irritated. I can't remember the last time I had 10 minutes to myself in my own home and it looked like it wasn’t going to happen this morning, either.
But, as he rounded the corner, I noticed his pajamas weren't covering his ankles anymore. And his mannerisms have recently become that of a little boy. He's no longer a baby. As he curled up next to me on the couch and proceeded to ask twenty questions about what I was doing and why I was doing it, I realized that I couldn't imagine a better way to spend the morning. Children have a tendency to grow up faster than their parents can imagine and someday mine, too, will be grown and gone and I will have to enjoy my early morning coffee on the couch alone. That is a “someday” that I can wait for.
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
Share
I was gently nudged awake by the sudden sound of a screaming baby on the other end of the monitor. I stumbled my way down the hall and into her room. As soon as I walked in she calmed down (slightly) and the wails turned into the whimpers of someone with an incredibly soggy rear end. Scooping her up in one arm and grabbing a diaper with my free hand we blindly made our way to the kitchen. I made a bottle and we settled in on the couch. A quick diaper change and she was more than ready to eat.
As she gulped away at her bottle I reached over to my laptop and brought up my Facebook page to see what was going on. The first thing I noticed on my page was a posting from Weight Watchers. The Weight Watchers page on Facebook frequently posts ideas, recipes and inspiration to help keep followers motivated. This morning, the post referenced the following quote:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”—Unknown.
I could easily see how this quote would help inspire me to reach my weight loss goals. But, as I watched Lily look up at me with wide eyes and milk dribbling off her chin, I realized that it meant so much more to me than mere weight loss. I have a family that depends on me and when I get discouraged I do them all a huge disservice. I held her to my shoulder and patted her back to work out a burp and mentally ticked off my "To Do" list.
1. Buy a home
We are currently renting our home right now but the owners want to sell and we want to buy. What are we waiting for? A few things. Roy works on commission. While he's been with his company for almost 5 years he has only been on this pay scale since July 2008. The only way to get approved for a mortgage is if he is able to show 2 years worth of pay stubs proving that his commission is stable. My income would be beyond helpful in our quest for home ownership, but a lack of much credit to begin with and an ugly divorce means my credit is in the crapper.
We're also trying to pay down any debt that Roy has in order to make his debt to income ratio as low as possible, and it's a slow process. But now? Every time we make a payment I’ll think:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
2. Fix My Credit
This is actually tied very closely to #1. If we can manage to buy our house our monthly payment will drop between $400 and $500. With that amount of money freed up every month we will have that much more to put towards paying down the rest of Roy's debt and paying off all of mine. After that, the plan is to get a small credit card in my name and make purchases and pay them off to build by credit back up. We can't start working on #2 until #1 is complete so, in the meantime, I'm focusing on saving where I can to make as many payments as possible.
I love to shop. And a good sale is hard for me to pass up. But now? When I walk past the clearance racks I can chant my mantra:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
3. Graduate College
I am slowly but surely working my way towards an Associate's in Business Management. The process is painful. I can only manage 2 classes at a time because there just aren't enough hours in the day. Because of the class structure at my college I am able to take 4 classes a semester (full time status) but only take 2 classes at a time.
Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel because life is so much easier when I don't have classes and homework to worry about. But now? Each time I turn in an assignment my own personal theme song will ring in my ears:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
4. Lose Weight and Live Healthier
This is obviously what Weight Watchers was hoping to inspire with their quote. Anyone familiar with Weight Watchers will know that they tell you to aim to lose no more than one or two pounds a week. This shows that you are losing weight the correct way and making the appropriate life changes. While it makes sense logically, it's not what you want to hear when you have weight to lose. Especially when we all know that you will not lose that one or two pounds every week and you may even gain weight some weeks. I have 37 pounds left to lose. Knowing that it will take (at the minimum) four and a half months to lose it is frustrating, to say the least. (I'll be skinny just in time for swimsuit season to be over. Great.)
It's hard to make the right choices everyday but I try to make little changes where I can. It's easy to drive around the parking lot at the grocery store until I find a closer spot. But now? As I park in the last row, grasp Nathan's hand, and lug Lily in her infant carrier (25 pounds, all together) up to the door I will tell myself:
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
I looked down and realized that Lily had fallen back asleep. Feeling motivated and ready to enjoy an early morning cup of coffee in peace, I had just laid her down when I heard Nathan shuffle his way down the hall to the kitchen. I'll admit, I was irritated. I can't remember the last time I had 10 minutes to myself in my own home and it looked like it wasn’t going to happen this morning, either.
But, as he rounded the corner, I noticed his pajamas weren't covering his ankles anymore. And his mannerisms have recently become that of a little boy. He's no longer a baby. As he curled up next to me on the couch and proceeded to ask twenty questions about what I was doing and why I was doing it, I realized that I couldn't imagine a better way to spend the morning. Children have a tendency to grow up faster than their parents can imagine and someday mine, too, will be grown and gone and I will have to enjoy my early morning coffee on the couch alone. That is a “someday” that I can wait for.
“You may not be there yet, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.”
Share
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